wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
