If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
