we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
