Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
My ATM looks so different sober.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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