sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
if i can run in heels then i can drive
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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