:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
