Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize