hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
