O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
