the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
