i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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