i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
