a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
