I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
