UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Pants are for mortals
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
