just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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