There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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