what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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