I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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