Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
