I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
