i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
