So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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