If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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