i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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