You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
