my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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