Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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