were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
