I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
