wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
