The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
