Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
