whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize