I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
