Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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