Im at strip club and am horny
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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