She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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