Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
