I seem to have left my pride at pride
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
