they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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