so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
