are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
