just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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