That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
third nipple confirmed
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
