I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
