dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
it glows. i had to have it.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
