If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
