And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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