Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
