i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
