I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
