dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Welp...herpes.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
