Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
