the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
