My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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