I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
May the power of my ass compel you!!
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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