Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
