Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
one two three fourrrrnication!
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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