It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
