3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
