She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
