I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
