Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
