girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
