Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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