Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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