is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
