You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
