I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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