My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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