You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize