I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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